like the DOW-Jones, only lower

Everyone's trying to figure out if Mount Saint Helens is going to blow but all we care about is trying to afford this week's interpretive dance class. It's the end of the month and while oil is reaching record prices in the world, life over here has hit an all-time low.

A visitor to the park can be quoted as saying "I just hope it doesn't erupt while I'm here." While he's here...vacationing...by a volcano...
You know we're just going to let that one be.

but there's more

UPDATE: I'm sorry, the item below should have read "Felix Dennis, enfant terrible of magazine publishing and one of Britain’s richest men, is on tour to celebrate A Glass Half Full, his new collection of poetry from Miramax Books."

Apparently, "Dennis aims to reclaim poetry from obscurity and elitism and return it to its roots of performance, rhyme, and mass appeal."

Worried about two buck chuck? "Everyone who attends this unique performance will be served the finest French wines from Mr. Dennis’s personal cellar . . . FREE!"

(Courtesy of the LAT PR-pelting machine.)

wino turned poet?

Felix Dennis, editor-turned-poet, is bribing people the come to his poetry readings by offering free wine. Had we morals, we'd be the first to blow the horn and bring this man down. But since when have we ever turned down free booze...even if it is being in a building adjacent to a bust of L. Ron Hubbard.
Felix Dennis invites you to join him at this FREE event on Thursday, September 30 at 6:00 pm at The Knitting Factory, 7021 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA 90028

someone needs a trip to cabo

Amanda Hesser traipses through the world of thebizarre little concoction known as the fish taco like Alice in Wonderland today. And that curious advocado salad? Hmmm. Curiouser and curiouser.

while we were dying

we go in for a little open-heart surgery and then something like this happens. Goodbye tmftml, while you didn't drive us to the bottle, we always felt like you were somewhere on the right coast unknowingly cheering us on.

however, bloggers are a bit like actresses...the minute one walks out on your film, another one arrives off the bus with glitter and joy in her heart. while we've never been much for writing the literature of the joyful and enfranchised ourselves, we do enjoy reading it. and with that, we direct you to chocolate and zucchini.com. and for a city that doesn't eat, nothing is better than clotilde's site which gives us a story for and appreciation of food without those icky calories.

i can see her breasts from here

lindsey lohan has been shooting a film right by our office for the past couple days. this means that there are huge holding pens for extras set up everywhere and about 90 more wierd trucks in my parking structure then usual. this also means that the gay makeup crew has begun stalking us in efforts to get godonlyknows what information about our sunglasses and clothing

the state of this little nation

given that i'm still in excruciating pain i predict that this blog will be making very little headway in the near future or at least until the scotch and darvoset cocktail kicks in.

like christ with an "upload" feature

maud newton nails blogging

we're running low on ramones

johnny dies and jessica simpson lives? oh, the world is so unkind.

that's it, we're dead

cutting out early today because i have a doctor's appointment regarding my severe and persistent chest pains. some say i'm too young to have a heart attack, but if you dealt with interns that were older than you and couldn't put a paperclip on a piece of paper, i be you'd keel over too. of course, it could just be our blackened, rotted lungs unable to cope with mounting smog. i mean, i'm from this city, but i'm still no better at breathing dirt.

The Weekend Roundup

Tonight: Get your art on at today's Hammer Bash from 6:30-midnight.
Then head over to Bar Vermont to see some awesome DJs or go to the Rolling Blackouts afterparty at 1023 Santa Fe (downtown, between 7th & 8th)
Saturday: Check out Midnight Movies at the Troubador and head on over to the afterparty at HANGING JURY, 1023 S. SANTA FE (zip: 90021) and say goodbye to indie-rockers Giant Drag as they leave for England. Hanging Jury is the new Plastic Factory. Party starts at Midnight and goes til whenever. Finally we can drink without curfew in Los Angeles.
Sunday: Rest, rinse, repeat.

Hop on who?

Paris Hilton laments the dwindling market of picture books on the Today show this morning. I sense a children's book deal in the air.

god, what a hamm

in a theme that we are coming to recognize as typical of our lives, that which we were once obsessed with now won't leave us alone. yes, NBC, we're talking to you. It's an evening on a holiday weekend, just after happy hour and just before our heavy party time when we see the olympic logo flash on our television screen? At first we thought it was a blessing but we soon realized that they were just showing Paul Hamm's routine....again. I guess the gymnasts really won't go away after all.

please lock us away

don't ever question our high-end job. why, just today we arrived at 7:45am without keys to unlock the building, snuck into our office via another office and now have a bright yellow cable draped from one wall to the other. we're wearing clothing combinations that only could have looked good at 5:45am. oh yeah, there's no question that when you deal with us, you deal with class.