big with the gay crowd

furthering the rumors that I will end up the gay community's new marlene, liza, or babs, david sedaris gave me a box of chocolates last night.

other than that nothing too interesting has been going on. i graduated from college, started a new job, did a concert, received lavish gifts and dinner date invitations from professors, am in the process of moving out and have currently been trying a new cosmetic procedure--the full-immersion bourbon bath. Needless to say, it's not going too well.

steven seagal needs new personal assistant.

got nothing better to do than work twelve hour days, six days a week? Then this job will be perfect for you. Although, with this write-up, it had better pay six-figures at least.

Personal Assistant Wanted for International action film star. Must have a very, very thick skin and a valid passport as there is lots of travel on the job. Long hours, 6 days a week and 12 hour days when traveling. Must thrive on pressure, think quick on your feet, be one-step ahead of his needs, multi-tasking is not just a catch-phrase on this job. Foreign language a plus but not necessary. please fax resumes to Steamroller Productions at 818-505-6636. Looking to hire immediately.

roadkill never looked so hot

where have i been? what have i been doing? well, besides trying desperately to graduate, getting drunk with all manners of middle-aged men who wear tweed and showing up twice in one evening on the dreaded polaroidscene.com i've also been in the process of pitching a new summer blockbuster movie on the beats with a guy from filter magazine. During an indepth meeting last week, I proposed that Ben Affleck play Jack Kerouac, citing that he'd be enticed by the idea of something serious (see gwyneth paltrow as slyvia plath). Now I can also say that it's because both men are total train wrecks. Yikes.

So I guess asking for sex is out, huh?

The next time anyone asks me why I don't date, I will show them this

who are we mouring again?

oh, step back. ray charles, the man. i will listen to your country & western album all day long and sob.

like repeats of andy griffith

Sarah Ultragrrrl has canceled her blog so now we're stuck with the internet equivalent of re-runs...archives. I'm sad about this, not because I could ever go to anything that she was DJing at in nyc (as I don't live there....yet) nor because I wanted a pandadog, but because this decreases the percentage of my real-life friends that blog dramatically.

I'm sure that if she lived in LA though, the polaroidscene.com guy alone would drive her away. How many times do I have to see awful pictures of myself while engaging in my one lovely vice of drinking until I fall down?

From Ab to Flab

In something else that could probably only happen in LA, my pilates instructor and my personal trainer have just married each other. Congratulations, you two, but don't start getting comfortable...you've got a rep to keep up after all.

help an annie out

Micah is leaving Giant Drag. This leaves 50% of the band (aka. Annie) intact. Some of you have already picked up on how wonderful this LA band is. They've been played quite a bit on 103.1 and they have a co-residency with Low Flying Owls at Spaceland this month. Annie now has no gear and a massive collection is underway. if you want to contribute, e-mail me and I'll give you the phone number.

I also have an extra Filter DVD with their video on it if anyone is interested.